to be alone and lonely i

life has become neither repulsive nor interesting
so I retreat to messages we sent each other in July
when we were together, and happy

while I lay here, where are you now
you who wanted me by your side all the time
at the theatre, during dinner, on your Saturday evening walks

with whom are you dining and laughing,
and being alive?
do you think of me like I think of you?

i imagine you a moon
whether night or day, always in my sky
whether they see you or not, you’re always in my sky

your loneliness pulls like the tide,
surely one day you’ll drown;
surely one day I’ll drown

in the embrace of another,
i imagine myself
free

only to wake and find my feet
walking the streets of blood stained Nairobi
eyes on the sky, longing for a slice of you

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